We move around pretty comfortably. We’ll make the smaller jumps without agonizing about the chances of disaster, the difficulty of finding new work, etc, etc.
The big jumps are always preceded by the click.
For some reason, this often happens over a meal. Perhaps being well-fed assuages the anxiety we would otherwise feel, considering a huge change to our way of life. Perhaps meal-time is the best time for concerted conversation since this thing we are doing requires that we spend time just sitting here.
Regardless, that’s how it happens. And it just happened again.
We’re dedicated to leaving this comfortable port next May and heading north. We will make our spending and maintenance decisions with this in mind, so that there is no major structural problem in our way. This boat we’re on – it’s not meant to be perfect. It sails, it steers, it holds plenty of food and it holds us. That’s what we need.
There’s no need, today, to do the circumnavigation as Joshua Slocum did. We will be tremendously more comfortable than he was. All those explorers who sought the Northern Passage to the Pacific – they suffered in a way that we will not. We’re going to go on this trip “before we’re ready”, meaning without some of the projects completed. Without a comfy armchair on the starboard side of the saloon. Without the most expensive of the electronics we’d love to have. Sometimes, though, there’s no option to stay.
When people talk about how lucky we are, I find it mildly insulting. We sacrifice space, ease of living, time and money, and a lot of other things that we have decided are extraneous to the life we want to live. We also sacrifice a certain kind of surety – the kind that says “my 401K will be there for me” and “my income is secure if I can keep from insulting my boss” and “if I get this raise, I can move into a bigger apartment”. Safety is an illusion, though, and fulfillment is not.
So off we go, dogging the oceans for those lovely, fleeting, overwhelming moments of fulfillment. The better we get at this, at being present and in the moment, the greater our general happiness and joy. Even when the plumbing leaks. Even when the mainsheet frays. Even when seeking work in foreign countries. Even when we run out of books. Even when the icebergs lurk around us and our feet are insensate blocks in our boots. Even then.
Living the dream.